These famous words of St. Therese of Lisieux have been a guiding light for my path in the spiritual life. They taught me so much about both God – and myself – and in ways I could never have imagined.
For example, people like me who are small and weak of soul, who tremble at the first whisper of suffering, who feel as if they are constantly striving for spiritual growth but never seem to get anywhere, whose prayer life is besieged by dryness and distraction, find it much too easy to fall prey to discouragement. “I’ll never be that holy so why try?”
This is when I meditate on Therese’s words – that everything is a grace – which means that technically, I’m right when I think I can never be that holy. I can’t! But with God’s grace, all things are possible for weaklings like me – even holiness – as long as I don’t make the mistake of depending on myself to do so.
Therese learned this truth the hard way. While it’s true that she never committed a mortal sin, it doesn’t mean she was perfect. Besides being spoiled, she had a temper, was extremely sensitive, and suffered with scruples. Dubbed the “little Queen” by her father, she was so pampered by her older sisters that she couldn’t even brush her own hair at the age of 12.
Then there was the loss of her mother at the age of four which had a catastrophic effect on her psyche. She was emotionally shattered and left feeling weak and sad and lost. To make matters worse, years of cruel bullying at the boarding school left her unable to make friends and feeling like an outcast. She would often be found sitting in front of the tabernacle in the church at school where she could be close to her “only friend.”
That’s who God became to Therese – a friend – and this shaped her view of Him. Contrary to the prevailing Jansenism of her time, which professed that God’s justice made Him into a strict disciplinarian, Therese’s concept of God was the exact opposite. Through personal experience, she learned what the Church teaches about God’s nature – that He is goodness, truth and charity. This means that even though He’s a just God like the Jansenists taught, His merciful nature mitigates that justice. Instead of being severe and punishing, it becomes fair and reasonable and readily takes into account the reasons behind our sinfulness, the wounds, the ignorance, the human weaknesses.
No wonder St. Augustine taught, “It is easier for God to hold back anger than mercy.” Because to be merciful is the nature of God!
And when we look at God through this lens, it becomes much easier to “let go and let God” doesn’t it? Therese teaches us that instead of shrinking in shame because of our weaknesses, we should confront them with confidence in God’s mercy and His promise to enable us “to do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13). Hope in His promise!
Therese staked her life on it, and it enabled her to develop that legendary confidence in God that reached the point of utter audacity at times. But rather than making her presumptuous, this confidence enabled her to confront and acknowledge her weaknesses without fear because she knew her only hope to overcome them was a God who longed to give her whatever grace she needed to do so.
“We would like never to fall. What an illusion!” she once wrote. “What does it matter, my Jesus, if I fall at every moment? I come to recognize by it how weak I am and that is gain for me. You see by that how little I am able to do and You will be more likely to carry me in your arms.”
Grace is the arms with which He carries us! But He can’t do that if we’re trying to do it on our own which is the equivalent of pushing His arms away. Instead, put up the white flag of surrender. Confront your weaknesses and admit that you need help. Yes, it’s humbling, but it’s worth it for two very important reasons.
First, because it wrests you free of the bad habit of self-reliance which is considered a virtue in the secular life, but is a catastrophe in the spiritual life because it’s prideful and therefore cuts us off from God’s grace. This is because God won’t interfere with our free will. If we don’t ask for help, He’ll back off.
Second, because you’ll never know the true depths of God’s mercy until you experience it for yourself, until you feel His arms come around you when you’re at your worst and deserving of nothing but punishment. Then, and only then, will you have the confidence to open up your heart to the God who is just waiting to carry you to the heights of sanctity.
During the coming year, the church will be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the canonization of St. Therese of Lisieus. In celebration of this great saint, I will be blogging about the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux on my website and in my monthly newsletter (link) throughout this year.
